Batman 275 sports a decent cover, but a fantastic splash page.
I’ve always loved Batman images that use his cape as a framing
device. You’ll see also, in the upper right corner, the logo for this
four-issue fun of the Underworld Olympics ’76. And here we are at the
final story.
The opening few panels are basically a pre-credits sequence of a
James Bond movie. It sets up Batman’s continual frustration with this
gang of criminals who are conducting odd activities that add up to
nothing. We get a shot of our ringleader addressing the crowd and even
the updated scorecard:
South America: 20 (in Batman 272)
Europe: 50 (in Batman 273)
Afro-Asian: 33 1/3 (in Batman 274)
North America: …well, it’s their turn now!
They have a big problem. The end of their assignment is to take place
on the Tompkinsville Ferry at midnight, but budget cuts have cancelled
that route. What are they to do? They complain. The liaison says they
can forfeit. “Forfeit? That’s a laugh!” cries a dude who looks like a
hippie. Well, our North American team concocts a daring scheme: they rob
some fellow criminals of their cash reserves. Next thing you know, the
mayor is on TV announcing that an anonymous group has donated a million
dollars to get the Tompkinsville Ferry up and running again. Viola! The
North Americans are in business.
And Bruce Wayne is in a pissy mood. When he reads that an historical
key was stolen from City Hall, he knows it’s the work of this group.
Alfred reminds him that the Wayne Foundation Benefit Soccer Game is that
evening and they go. In a jarring couple of panels set at the game,
Alfred starts to tell Bruce the differences between a soccer field and a
football field. Now, what this really is is a chance for David V. Reed,
the writer of these issues, to feed some useful information to the kids
reading the book.* But what happens is that Bruce snaps at his
manservant. “Alfred, I invited you here because it’s your national
pastime…but please don’t instruct me. I played soccer in college.” Then,
in the next panel, Bruce’s thought balloon is this: “I came to
relax…and he’s driving me nuts! Ah, there’s my chance—” The ‘chance’ is
two young ladies. Ah, the 70s!
But before Bruce can sashay over to the ladies, some goons emerge
from under the field and disrupt the game. Reminded me of the circus
scene in “Batman Forever.” Batman shows up and fights them, but not
before one of them toss the soccer ball into the net of a guy on a
motorcycle who gets away. In a funny series of panels without any
dialogue, a disgusted Batman watches the cyclist roar away…and he takes
out his frustration with a swift kick on a remaining goon who isn’t
quite unconscious.
Back at the Batcave, Batman fetches the Whirlybat! This issue is
cover dated May 1976 so I’m not sure how long it had been since the
Whirlybat was in use, but it certainly wasn’t in this story arc. Batman
actually is shown taking the tarp off the device that is essentially a
helicopter attached to a chair. I actually found an image from the
internet.
Okay,
maybe it’s the adult version of myself looking at this, but wouldn’t
the cape get snagged in the rotors? Ah, fooey! The image looks good.
Aloft now, Batman, complete with headphones, makes his silent patrol
over the river. He spots the ferry and two motorboats in pursuit. He
spots the two drivers as two of the goons from the soccer stadium…but
can’t name them. [Sidenote: when he met Amba Kadiri *from India* last
issue, he knew who she was, but he doesn’t know some North American bad
guys?] He takes out the hippie and tethers that guy’s boat to the ferry.
Then he uses the Whirlybat to get onto the ferry itself. There, the
rest of the North Americans are in the process of lashing the wheel in
place to head straight for a buoy. Batman frees the wheel and turns the
ferry, but the trailing boat hits it. “Then, for one frightful instant,
night becomes day…” reads the textbox.
But Batman isn’t done. He spots the other trailing boat turning
around and leaving. In the Whirlybat, he follows that guy and actually
snags him with a retractable line. Which brings us to the last few
panels of this issue and this story arc. The leader awards the North
Americans 90 points, winning the entire Underworld Olympics. As all bad
guys like to do, he calls Commissioner Gordon to boast. Gordon’s
nonplussed because he’s got a cadre of cops stationed outside the
headquarters of the Underworld Olympics! Boom!
As in all issues of this run, the story ends with Batman and Gordon
talking about the case. They make the observation that all of these
events rarely had any profit to them. Gordon likes the irony of it.
Batman, on the other hand, wonders “about the fiendish brain who dreamed
and planned and arranged and organized the Underworld Olympics of ’76!”
Indeed, Batman. This guy, who never got a name, would be an interesting
person to return to and study. I’m not sure he ever was.
Thus ends the Underworld Olympics of 1976. It was a fun, goofy,
somewhat preposterous storyline, but not without its charms. The
Whirlbat! Tons of deductions. Lots of Bruce Wayne. This story was
certainly a product of its time when kids read comics, but it was
enjoyable if you didn’t think too much and just had a good time.
*I’ll say this about the comics of my youth: they would always try
and teach something to kids. Whether it was Alfred’s description of the
differences between a soccer field and football field or that the
million dollars cash was from a mobster-run numbers game, the writers
(adults obviously) would write their story and the editors would either
let the content sail through or add little info dumps scattered
throughout the issues. They didn’t always pander to kids. That’s a great
thing and probably taught some neat facts to kids along the way. Not
sure that’s there anymore. Too bad.
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